Gus: My 5 step beauty tips… The dirty secrets!

I am Gus.  I just developed my 5-step beauty tips for being beautiful… like all of the lady peoples over 60 years keeps saying to me.  Getting used to taking baths has been hard since it has been cold in Savannah this year… so here is what Mama Becky does to makes me clean.

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Step 1.  Gets all soapy with dogg shampoos.  I like to look at fabulous artwork during my spa visits.  It is amazings that they have this huge mural next to the dogg bathtub.

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Step 2.  Rinse the soaps off of your little body.

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Continue step 2.  Keep rinsing.  I don’t thinks I like the “keep rinsing” part ’cause I keeps getting wet.

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Continue step 2… AGAIN?  I know that I really don’t like getting wetter and wetter.  I am a Chihuahuas, not a lavatory retriever.

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Step 3.  Towel off.  THIS is much better than the rinsing stuffs.  I am not happy with my dogg spa and the continued step 2 stuff.

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Rinsing and toweling off makes my ears droops.

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Step 4.  Blow dry my dogg coat… wait a minute.  I don’t thinks I like this step… nope… nope!

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NOPE!  NOPE! NOPE!  I too don’t likes this step 4… nope, not today!  I’d rather have step 2!  Let me stay wets.

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Oh, wait… Mama Becky has a treats for me.  I too like treats.  I too like feeling clean, but I too likes treats more… and a lot more than step 4.

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Step 5.  Brush hair and looks beautiful… Eat your heart out Brads Pitts. – Love Gus

 

I gives getting baths a BIG no paws… not even one… No paws jpg

and I give blow dryers minus four paws. No paws jpgNo paws jpgNo paws jpgNo paws jpg

I would give blow drying four thumbs down except that I don’t have thumbs!

So…

If you are a little kid you can send me a drawing and I will put it up over my bed… or even if you are a big peoples… and maybe I can put your drawing on my dogg blogg.

Thank you.  Please like and subscribe to my dogg blogg and I will give you licks and wags when I see you.

Love,

Gus (Gus Doggy Dogg) Dog print

Gus logo 2

© J Byous Company, 2018 All Rights Reserved

Gus goes to Cancun… in Savannah

My peoples took me to Cancun Mexican Restaurant on the Southside of Savannah.  We went to meet Miss Nancy Jo who is a friends of Mama Becky.  Jims gave me a chips when Mama Becky wasn’t looking.  It was called Mexican food.  I too likes down-home cooking from the old country.  The chips were free with the dinner.  I too likes free chips.

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Me eating a chips at Cancun Restaurant.  I too like chips.  I likes Jim sneaking them to me when Mama Becky isn’t looking.

The suns was going down and I was cold.  My ears were shaking so I asked Jims to give me some hot sauces.  Mama Becky said hot sauces was HOT and I wanted to get warm.  Jims said yes, but Mama Becky said, “NO! Bad dogg! Doggs do not eat hot sauces!”  I too like hot sauces… I thinks.  What do hot sauces taste like?

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I mets Miss Karen and Miss Mary who works for Cancun Restaurant.  They likes doggs.

Miss Karen and Miss Mary greets peoples and doggs when they come to Cancun Restaurant.  They came out to see me.  I licked their hands.  Miss Marys scratched my dogg chin.  I too like Miss Karen and Miss Mary.  They were nice, but they forgot my treat.  I too like treats.

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I like to chews Miss Nancy Jo’s curly hair.  Mama Becky made me stop.  I too likes to chew curly hair.  She and Mama Becky are really good friends.

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Jims had fajitas.  That is beefs and other stuffs.  They comes on a really hot plate and sizzles a lot.  Jims ate most of his, but held his full tummy and moaned a lot… with a smile.  I thinks he likes fajitas.  Jims slipped me some fajitas when Mama Becky wasn’t looking… the beef, not the stuffs.  I too like fajitas.

Miss Mary from Cancun likes to scratch dogg chin. I too likes chin scratches.

Mama Becky and Miss Nancy Jo had salads in a wavy bowl that they ate part of.  I can’t eats my bowl… it’s made out of shiny metal.  I know, I tried.  Mama Becky had a taco salads with chicken.  Miss Nancy Jo had a fajita salads, so I think she had part of Mama Becky’s salad and part of Jims’ fajitas.  I too like salads.  I too like chickens… I would chase them if they weren’t bigger than me.  I too would eat chickens taco salad, but Mama Becky says, “NO!  Chickens taco salads are not for doggs!”  I too like chickens taco salads… and chips… and hot sauce.  If I could eat them.

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This is Cancun Restaurant.  I couldn’t be in this.  I was busy eating Jim’s fajitas.  I too likes fajitas.

The peoples at Cancun Mexican Restaurant were very nice.  I too likes them and fajitas.  I give them three paws, but they don’t have a place for doggs if it is raining.   I gives it three Paws.  I don’t likes rain.  I gets wet.  Dog printDog printDog print

If you are a little kid you can send me a drawing and I will put it up over my bed… or even if you are a big peoples… and maybe I can put your drawing on my dogg blogg.

Thank you.  Please like and subscribe to my dogg blogg and I will give you licks and wags when I see you.

Love,

Gus (Gus Doggy Dogg) Dog print

Gus logo 2

© J Byous Company, 2018 All Rights Reserved

Blogger Gus Doggy Dogg busted… Others implicated. The unleashed, naked story!

A note from Gus: The following story is from the Dog Days Enquirer a squirrellous publication…. I am completely innocent of alls the alleged allegations.  (The soon to be discovered spot on the carpet incident, however, I takes full responsibility.)  The D.D Enquirer treats me wrong… Ooooohhh!  Did I say “treats?”  I too like treats.

A Dog Days Enquirer Exclusive

The hottest gossip on canine celebrities and entertainment is sniffed out here!!!

Inquiring dogs want to know!

Savannah, February, 24 — Noted travel and history blogger, Gus Doggy Dogg was busted yesterday as he allegedly defaced private property.  The dry-erase ink was still wet when Doggs mother, Mama Becky, walked in and found the tragic scene.  “He really is a good dog,” she said.  “He is scheduled for obedience training at PetSmart next month.  It will not come too soon.”

“The graffiti covered approximately one-forth of the refrigerator,” said Jims who describes himself as the Chihuahua’s caretaker, friend and adopted father.  “I  was devastated.”

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Gus Doggy Dogg, noted travel and history author and blogger was caught red-pawed scribbling graffiti on private property late Friday night.    ©Noah Scruples, 2018

“My wife, Mama Becky and I have worked to prevent this type of thing occurring,” Jims said.  “Things like begging at the table or barking at the lady who lives upstairs… She is his great-aunt for heaven sake!  We have gently discourage such activity.”

“Now I see that I may have to crack down…  I mean…” he said as he stumbled over his words.  “I am at a loss.”

Jims stated that Dogg claimed that he was, “set up,” and that he was simply trying to erase the images.   However, eye witnesses are holding to their accounts.

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The graffiti was condemned by authorities who cried, “Bad Dog!” while some in the art world disagree.

“I’m not sure where I went wrong,” Jims said.  I tried to raise him to have respect for others… you know.  But, he is very advanced for his young age…even in dog years.”

Attempting to regain composure, Jims continued, “I really don’t know what to do.  Young kids… or rather, dogs…, have all the bad influences, TV, dog treats, bones and stuffed toys.

We even bought him his own bed and water dish.  What can a parent do?” Jims asked then added,  “He is constantly playing with his friend, Bunny.  Maybe he’s the bad influence in his life.”

Bunny, aka Fetch, was allegedly detained by Savannah P.D. for the distribution of egg-shaped containers to children in the spring of 2017.  According to anonymous sources, the colorful eggs were said to have contained candy and toys.  No charges were filed in the incident.

Bunny Mugs

Friend and suspected co-conspirator, Bunny, aka Fetch in an alleged Savannah PD mugshot early last year.

The defaced property depicted Dogg’s cohort and cousin, Chance, who is also a rescue dog of questionable ancestry.  Chance is in the care of a young man who will remain nameless since he is a minor.  However, on the record, Dogg has often referred to him as, “My good buddy.”

Chance and Ruddy mask

Authorities believe that the two were not involved in the incident, though a typical Washington, DC anonymous source reports that Chance may have suggested that the grievous action, “Might be fun.”  Also depicted on the refrigerator was Dogg himself in a staggeringly accurate likeness, according to art experts.

Dogg comparison

An actual photo, left, and Dogg’s self portrait, right, “Show uncanny, insightful reality in tone and stroke.  It’s hard for me to tell the actual photo from the drawing,” said Izzy Sirius, founder, MOSOAAOS.

Izzy Sirius, the founder and instructor at the Mail Order School of Art and Other Stuff in Las Vegas, Nevada disagrees with most critics by saying the images that were scrawled on the refrigerator are remarkable.  “This work is in the category of Picasso, Man Ray and perhaps Van Gogh… at least on one of their less-remarkable days,” he said.  Sirius clarified his statement, “I mean, Dogg has great artistic talent.  I would gladly enroll him in our school if someone would pay the extremely high-priced tuition.”  The self-proclaimed art aficionado added, “I hope that the Savannah School of Art and Design doesn’t find him first.”

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Dogg was allegedly caught by paparazzi while allegedly leaving a kennel show at the Dog Patch Lounge on Skidaway Road in Savannah, Georgia shortly before the alleged dry-erase incident.  Photo credit:  ©Noah Scruples, 2018

Holding back tears Mama Becky, Dogg’s mother, later stated, “I just hope it’s not too late… He is quite small for a dog, but I have always told him that he is as good as any Rottweiler or Great Dane.  We never discriminate.  We always uplift.  Maybe we should go on walks more often.”

The grief-stricken mother sobbed then added, “He really has been a good dog.  I hope he can learn from this and we can continue on.”  Wiping tears with a wet wipe she keeps for “accidents” she stated, “We have always given him love and affection.  We even praise him for going potty in the right places.  It doesn’t always work… I guess I should have seen this coming.”

Authorities stated that there will be no charges in the alleged crime, but now Dogg is on their watch list since he was found with no collar, harness or form of ID in his possession.

press release gus

The original, simple four-sentence, written rebuttal by Gus Doggy Dogg.  The translation can be seen below.

When asked his opinion of the accusations, Dogg gave a four-sentence, written statement to the press that had to be translated, “I has no bones to pics over this devious attempt to defrauds me.  Oh… oh…, I too like bones… and treats!  And, I too like Dog the Bounty Hunter!  He is my hero!”

Reality TV star Duane “Dog” Chapman could not be reached for comment.  He is not implicated in the alleged incident.

© The Dog Days Enquirer, 2018, All rights reserved

A note from Gus:

I thinks this is what Jims calls a parody.  Likes I said, I is innocent of all the allegedx allegations.  However, as stated before, in the upcoming charges in the “carpet” incident I accept all blame.  No dog is perfect.  I will goes into rehab until this whole incident blows over.

Therefore, this review gets only one paw.  I would give it thumbs down except that I don’t have thumbs! Dog print

So…

If you are a little kid you can send me a drawing and I will put it up over my bed… or even if you are a big peoples… and maybe I can put your drawing on my dogg blogg.

Thank you.  Please like and subscribe to my dogg blogg and I will give you licks and wags when I see you.

Love,

Gus (Gus Doggy Dogg) Dog print

Gus logo 2

 

Actual attribution:   © JD Byous 2018, all rights reserved